Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They are going to name an STD after you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize