Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
