Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
