I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize