halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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