Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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