were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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