they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
