his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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