i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
