you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
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