In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
