My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
