Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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