they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
