I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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