I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His nipple licking is glorious
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
