your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
