plz talk dirty to me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize