i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
