She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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