you would pick up someone in the library
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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