There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
