you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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