U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
