We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
