Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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