I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
