I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
