we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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