Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
