I will die if light touches me.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
