I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
