the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
