Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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