Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
