I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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