soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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