it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
