On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
