she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Randomize