I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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