Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize