How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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