he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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