this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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