help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
