Please, let me fuck your mom
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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