We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I faked an abortion last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
