"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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