Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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