I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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