my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
