I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
