and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
