Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
