OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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