your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
